Last week, the findings of a decades-long study on the effects of physical activity on depression over the course of an individual’s life from the ages of 23-50 were published online by JAMA Psychiatry. The findings of this study were pretty widely distributed and referenced in the days thereafter. My Zite reader suddenly filled up with all kind of articles on the topic, specifically referencing this study. Click here and here for two good recaps.
About a week prior to these study findings being released, I watched this video of Rob Krar opening up about his struggles with depression. This video in particular gained a lot of exposure in the running community (and here on WordPress) and I recommend giving it a view when you have seven and a half minutes to spare.
I have fought a long battle with depression and its ugly effects. I’m in a much better place with it now than I was from the age of about 14 to 26, but I have come to realize that it never fully goes away and one is never “cured” of depression. I am managing my depression these days, and it’s been at least a year since it was debilitating enough to interfere with my job, family, or friends. However, the tricky (and frankly, downright terrifying) aspect of depression is that even if you’re managing it relatively well at any given point, it’s still a constant, daily battle of eternal vigilance to keep the darkness at bay. I still exhaust a significant amount of mental energy working to keep that cloud from rolling in.
Even currently, I occasionally have brief periods of 1-3 days where life just seems so overwhelming and every little task is infinitely more difficult. The most basic and brief social interactions become laborious, painful, and anxiety-inducing; laundry and dishes seem like unachievable tasks; dragging out of bed by 8 AM, much less my normal 6, is almost impossible. The walls start to close in and if I don’t take steps to halt this onslaught within a matter of days, there could very easily be a point of no return. Robin Williams’ suicide this summer was particularly poignant because I felt the world was witnessing exactly what I’m describing. He was 63 years old and managed to keep that darkness at bay every day for decades, until the day he couldn’t. That is what scares me – everything can be relatively under control until one day when it just isn’t.
Why do I mention all of this? I have come to believe exercise, especially running and particularly endurance running, is a very powerful tool in combating depression and associated disorders such as anxiety. Ever hear of Team RWB? It’s a military veteran organization that relies on the science of physical activity’s effects on depression and PTSD to help our service men and women re-integrate with their families, lives, and society.
I personally have discovered that running is my anti-depressant. I have been more happy, level-headed, motivated, energetic, and even-keeled since I started running over a year ago than I have ever been at any other time in my life. Particularly within the past two months since (mostly) recovering from my tibial stress issues in my left leg and have become increasingly interested in and pursuing endurance running. The highlight of my week has become 2+ hour runs on Saturday morning on trails. Not only do I get fresh air, sunshine on my face, meditate by focusing on every breath and footfall, but I reach that place of physical suffering.
Not suffering like a broken bone, burn, etc., but the kind of suffering that I suspect is really more mental than actually physical. No doubt running for that length of time or longer pushes your body in ways shorter runs or a spin class never could, but it’s really reaching that point where your mind is screaming – stop! What the hell are we doing?? Only crazy people run this long/far! These legs can’t carry you any farther! – and yet pushing through. Pushing through until at some point, it really is over, and you realize later that there was no room in your head for the dark thoughts. Your mind was cleared, the chatter stopped, the world made sense, you felt at peace, you were in the moment…you were happy. Content. Fulfilled.
I run to literally chase that place. Because the alternative is no longer acceptable. This is my therapy.
Run well, friends.
Becky
Lace Up And Live Life 